<span class="gmail_quote"></span><span class="gmail_quote"></span><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>UNIX
Airways </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to
the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are
supposed to be building.<br>
<br>
</font><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>Air
DOS </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on
and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push
again, jump on again, and so on... <br>
<br>
</font><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>Mac
Airlines </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents
look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details,
you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't
want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever
having to know, so just shut up.<br>
<br>
</font><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>Windows
Air </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards,
easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
<br>
<br>
</font><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>Windows
NT Air </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,
and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.<br>
<br>
</font><font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong>Windows XP Air </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP
Air planes.
All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as
big as they need to be.
The signs are huge and all point the same way.
Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed
hat insisting you follow him.
Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air
suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included
in the exorbitant ticket cost.
The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract.
The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey
Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again.
You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or
drink.
You are searched regularly throughout the flight.
If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket.
No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash
landing at Whistler in Canada.</font>
<font color="#ff0000" face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><strong><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br><br></span>Linux
Air </strong></font><font face="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><br>
<br>
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to
start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the
runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of
printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the
ticket yourself.<br>
<br>
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a
wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable
seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without
a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell
customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all
they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"</font>
<br clear="all"><br>-- <br>An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.<br> - Niels Bohr