[Malvern] Bill Gates & God

[ian.pascoe at bt.com]

Well well well ....

Ian Pascoe







   In 2050 A.D. Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in
the Purgatory waiting room, when God enters...

   "Well, Bill," says God, "I'm confused. I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell: you helped society enormously by putting a
computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you've also created
some of the most unearthly frustrations known to mankind. I'm going to
do something I've never done before: I'm going to let you choose where
you want to go."

   Bill replies, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the
two?"

   God says, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly to help
you make your decision."

   "Okay, where should I go first?" asks Bill.

   God says, "That's up to you."

   Bill says, "OK, let's try Hell first."

   So Bill goes to Hell. It's a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters. There are thousands of beautiful women running around, playing
in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the
temperature is just right. The whole thing looks perfect, and Bill is
very pleased.

   "This is great!" he tells God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see
Heaven!"

   "Fine," says God, and off they go.

   Heaven is a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about
playing harps and singing. It very nice but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thinks for a moment and announces his decision.

   "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell." he tells God.

   "Fine," says God, "As you desire."

   So Bill Gates is taken to Hell.

   Two weeks later, God decides to check up on Bill to see how he's
doing in Hell. When God arrives in Hell, he finds Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He's being burned
and tortured by demons.

   "How's everything going, Bill?" God asks.

   Bill replies, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is
awful, it's not what I expected at all, I can't believe it. What
happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women
playing in the water?"

   God smiles and says, "That was the screen saver."