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[Graham Swallow]

HELP! I am stuck in the garden!

Some guy from patent enforcement came round, welded my garden gate bolt shut,
muttering something about people like me using pirated technology.
I tried all the gestures I could think of, but that probably made it worse.

I tried arguing that their patent had prior art from barn-door-wooden-claves,
but they claim that residential-use-metal-bolts is a unique specialisation.

Its started to rain. Again.