[Lincs] Unrealistic expectations? (Was: No-one there!)

[Dave Pearson]

* Peter Cooper <peter at petercooper.co.uk> [2004-08-17 15:53:01 +0100]:

> Sorry, but I definitely had to laugh when I saw the picture at
> http://www.lincs.lug.org.uk/news/story10151708.php .. I was expecting to
> click on and see a bunch of people getting sloshed, and I see that. :-P

I just had a look at the above page and, given that feedback has been
requested, felt the need to comment on this paragraph:

,----
| OK, several people had work, and a couple of people had said on the
| mailing list and on the IRC chat that they wouldn't be able to make the
| social for one reason or another- but that can not account for all 53
| people that recieve the mailing list... can it?
`----

Why the default position of expecting attendance by everyone subscribed to
the mailing list? Here's why I wasn't there:

* Sometime last week, from sporadic emails to this mailing list, I got the
  impression that a handful of people had, somewhere, unknown to me, decided
  to get together in Lincoln some sort of social gathering.

* Driving all the way to Lincoln on a Monday evening to sip a couple of
  glasses of non-alcoholic beverage (I'd be driving) doesn't really hold
  much interest for me, so I didn't really pay much more attention.

* The venue then seemed to move from Lincoln to Boston.

* Boston is a lot closer to me than Lincoln but the main source of
  disinterest for me still remained. It would still have been a weekday
  evening drive, after work and personal commitments, to sit in a public
  house for an hour or two with a handful of strangers for no immediately
  obvious reason.

* So, again, I didn't pay it much attention.

Given the apparent ad-hoc arrangement of that gathering and given the time
and place nobody should have been surprised or disappointed that so few
people attended; especially given that the widely advertised first meeting
of this LUG isn't until the 11th of next month. Expecting everyone
subscribed to the mailing list to dash to such a gathering is unrealistic
and will obviously lead to disappointment on the part of the person holding
that expectation because it's an unrealistic expectation.

Expressing disappointment at the "membership" of a group when the first
"official" meeting hasn't even taken place yet strikes me as a good way of
putting people off. Moreover, the wording of the above quoted paragraph
seems to suggest that anyone wishing to be a member of the mailing list
should account for their movements if they don't attend. While I doubt that
was the intended meaning of the text it could come over like that and I'd
have thought that the only effect that would have would be a negative one.

Realistic expectations will lead to delight as things get moving;
unrealistic expectations will probably only lead to disappointment and, when
voiced as it was in the above quoted text, that could have a further
negative effect.

Hopefully this feedback will be read in the spirit it was sent.

-- 
Dave Pearson
http://www.davep.org/