I'm infected!!! (Was Re: [Sussex] The Geek Test)

[Matthew Macdonald-Wallace]

On Thu, 2003-11-06 at 08:57, nik at wired4life.org wrote:
> > http://totl.net/VirusScanner/
> im definetly infected.

Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their
cures, if known.


Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon
        Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
        
        
Linux
        Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love
        it.
        
        
Junkfood
        Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source
        of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
        
        
Free BSD
        The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
        
        
8-Bit
        Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
        
        
British
        No need for cure. Benign virus.
        
        
UNIX
        Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern
        operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
        
        
Windows
        Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than
        Windows and it doesn't suck.
        As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
        
        
vi
        Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
        
        
Politics
        Stop caring!
        
        
Discordia
        Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
        
        
Brand Names
        Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
        
        
Computer Games
        Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should
        see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
        
        
Conspiracy Theory
        Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's
        quite scary.
        
        
Environmentalism
        Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to
        recycle.
        
        
Macintosh
        Use a mouse with more than one button.
        
        
Football
        Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.

Viruses you might suffer from:

USA (70%)
        Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
        
        
Japan (85%)
        Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good
        last line of defence for Earth.
        
        
Religion (90%)
        Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
        
        
X11 (60%)
        I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
        
        
Hippyism (93%)
        Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli
        smells like cat piss.
        
        
Prog Rock (60%)
        Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't
        crackle.
        
        
Southampton (69%)
        Move to the Isle of Wight.
--
+----------------------------------+
|Matthew Macdonald-Wallace         |
|The Truth Will Set you Free       |
|http://www.truthisfreedom.org.uk/ |
+----------------------------------+
BOFH Excuse #146: Communications satellite used by the military for star
wars.