[Sussex] Fwd: [OT-Humour] teacher arrested

[Gavin Stevens]

This was doing the rounds at work today. Forwarded for your amusement.

------- Forwarded message -------
From: Gavin Stevens <gavin.stevens at kontron.com>
To: "'starshine at gavmusic.uklinux.net'" <starshine at gavmusic.uklinux.net>
Subject: FW: teacher arrested
Date: Tue, 25 May 2004 17:02:07 +0100

>> At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to 
>> be
>> a school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
>> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
>> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John 
>> Ashcroft
>> said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.
>> He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths 
>> instruction.
>> "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
>> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
>> search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'  
>> and
>> refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong  
>> to
>> a common denominator of the axis of mediaeval with coordinates in every
>> country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3
>> sides to every triangle'."
>> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
>> wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have 
>> given
>> us more fingers and toes."
>>