[Sussex] RE: New Flyer for the BCF

Paul reality at dsl.pipex.com
Wed Apr 13 20:27:50 UTC 2005


Hi all,

Here's a few corrections that I think ought to be made to the flyer:

"What is Linux" paragraph:

Remove the **marked** comma from "The most common OS for PCs is Windows,
which is now the highest cost **,** single
component.


"Why is Linux Free?" paragraph:

Add the following two **marked** commas, i.e. 

The developers of Linux believe that by giving away the source code for free
**,** others can make changes and improvements that benefit everyone. The
bigger the group **,** the greater the
sum of the parts. Thousands of people, from all over the world, have now
contributed to Linux.


"Who Uses Linux" paragraph:

Because you have used the pluralized word "devices", I think you should make
the "mobile phone" comment plural, too. Remove the superfluous word "big"
and possibly remove the brackets from the last comment, i.e.

Anyone can use Linux. Linux is not just found in PCs. Linux is found in
devices as small as mobile phones and as large and expensive as the top of
the range systems from IBM, which can cost millions.


And finally, the "What is SLUG" paragraph:

Having read the concerned comments, regarding the mention of beer, how
about?.....

The Sussex Linux Users' Group provides support to Linux and Open Source
enthusiasts in the East and West Sussex Area. The SLUG is however a good
excuse to meet up and chat with like-minded folk, in a relaxed and friendly
atmosphere.

Just some suggestions! Hope you don't mind me throwing in my two penn'eth
worth ;)

Paul.M.






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