[Sussex] 1984 and all that jazz

[Steve Dobson]

Hi all

For those of you that don't read Groklaw regularly (and why not) this was
anonymously posted today.  Somehow it manages to be funny and worrying at the
same time.

  There have been many improvements in newspeak (or microspeak as we now call it).
  Many words have been reduced in length and meaning. The replacement of words by
  icons has been of great benefit in reducing thoughtcrime. Thus, word-processor
  was replaced by Word and then by the W icon. Likewise, document was replaced by
  .doc and finally by the same W icon. Furthermore, by associating the .doc
  extension with word.exe it has been possible to reduce the opening of a
  document to a simple (indeed almost automatic) double-click without the need for
  words or thought. There is no longer any possibility of thoughtcrime such as,
  "This icon represents a document in Microsoft Word format: which word-processor
  shall I open that will read this format?" In microspeak this becomes, "W: W"
  (the question mark obviously becomes superfluous).
  
  "IBM PC compatible computer running Microsoft Windows operating system" has been
  reduced to "computer" or, to uniquely identify it, "PC". Microsoft invented the
  computer. "IBM PC" is an oxymoron, IBM does not make PCs. "Microsoft Windows"
  (now reduced to just "Windows" to avoid thoughtcrime that there might be some
  other window system) is part of the PC; you may buy a PC without a monitor, but
  whoever heard of a PC without Windows? Computers that are not PCs only run
  Microsoft Office (obviously now contracted to Office). Thus, having reduced the
  number of words in the original phrase to: "PC, computer, Microsoft, and
  Windows", it now becomes impossible to arrange them in any combination that
  might lead to thoughtcrime.
  
  The Party is doing great work in schools, "Mindstorms" has been replaced by,
  "The ICT Suite". Thoughtcrime has been all but eliminated (along with most other
  forms of thought).
  
  Party members cannot all fight at the front alongside our brothers: the RIAA,
  the MPAA, and the BSA; but they can contribute to the war effort by installing,
  updating, and running anti-virus and anti-spyware programs, and also installing
  all the latest Microsoft patches and service packs. Of course it goes without
  saying that all members will buy and install the latest version of software as
  soon as it is released by Microsoft.
  
  When I see the lights flashing on my modem, even when I am not even touching the
  keyboard or mouse, I am happy that my computer is watching over me. I love Big
  Brother.
  
  Winston Smith

  [I, Winston Smith, confess that I am guilty of thoughtcrime. I deliberately and
  knowingly entered the site of one Klaus Knopper (an agent of Linus Torvolds) and
  did download a .iso of Knoppix from which I burnt several CDs. Furthermore, I
  did take said CDs and install them on computers belonging to the Party. I
  confess that it was my intention to infect Microsoft IP with the terrible virus
  called the GPL using Linux as a vector. Moreover I gave several copies to
  schoolchildren who installed them in the IT Suite, thereby causing them to
  commit thoughtcrime by gaining independent control of their computers. I must
  have been mad to have done these things; I ask the forgiveness of Big Brother.]
  
I can only echo what another anonymous poster responded with: Double plus good!

Steve

-- 
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Debian Hint #25: If you would like to thank a maintainer for handling an
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