[Autistic] The perfect lug meet

[Stephen Parkes]

On 13/01/06, chris procter <chris-procter at talk21.com> wrote:
> Hi,
>
> My names Chris and I'm not autistic, however having
> read Sparkes rant on his blog (http://sp.arkes.co.uk/)
> and opening shot on this list I got to thinking:
>
> How do you structure a lug meeting to be inclusive,
> friendly and generally welcoming to all wether they're
> autistic, disabled, shy, dont know anybody else there,
> OSX user, or whatever.

I don't know is the simple answer.  We had some pretty heated debates
on the issue over the years at Wolves lug meets.

some people prefer the formal talk in a room where it's possible not
to get involved if you don't want too (such as how South Birmingham
operate) but i know for a fact that if i hadn't known anybody at SB
lug before i went to meetings there i would have sat on my own and
never met any body there.

This has been proved in my experience when i have been to meetings and
asked a regular to point somebody out who i want to talk to after
reading a post on teh mailing list and they have no idea what the
person looks like.

Other people prefer the unordered meetings in a pub or resturant like
Wolves lug.   This means you have to say hello to at least one person
and might be subjected to the ordeal of introducing yourself to the
group and makes it impossible to be a physical lurker until you want
to introduce yourself.

>
>
> Are there ways of structuring the meetings (talks or
> purely social? formal or relaxed? etc), laying out
> seating/tables, choosing venues (are pubs good places?
> members houses?) etc that would help?

I think a 'perfect meet' needs to meet the middle ground of
requirements.  The purely social meetings are intimindating to
outsiders, hence the inner circle jokes at Wolves lug which prompted
one of my most vocal rants on how we wern't as inclusive as we could
be.  Meetings at members houses are similar.  I find it difficult
enough to knock on a door when i have a good idea who is on the other
side .

the other side of the coin is the meeting that is too formal and it's
possible to attend for years and never interact with anyone.

pubs are generally a bad place for meetings.  they are designed for
small groups and lugs quickly outgrow them making it difficult to
intergrate with the group as it gets larger.
>
> Should there be introductions at the beginning (helps
> to learn peoples names but some people feel very self
> concious standing up and talking about themselves even
> for 30 seconds in front of people they dont know)?

I hate doing introductions even to people i know (how i managed when i
taught is something i'll never know).

>
> Should there be a talk and if so at the start or at
> the end of the evening?

the middle ;-) allow latecomers to get there but not too late that
people feel guilty about drifting off.  since wolves lug reintroduced
talks i haven't seen a single one because they happen at the end of
the night.

>
> Should people be allowed to sit where they like (which
> leads to groups of friends sitting together and not
> mixing with those they dont know) or should some form
> of random element be used (could you do this without
> people thinking you were mad?)?
>

one of the things that came of a rant (I rant a lot) at wolves lug was
the aggrement we wouldn't sit in cliques.  As far as i can see nothing
came of this aggrement and people still sit in cliques.  it was only
late comers and me who sat with different people each meeting.

trying to enforce something like this is worse.  firstly they will
think you are a nutter ;-) and secondly it's comforting to choose your
own place.

>
>
> How have lug meets you've attended been? how could
> they be improved? if you've never been to a meet what
> puts you off?

I've been to hundreds of meetings with wolves lug, a dozen or so at sb
lug and met other linux users at different events and i am painfully
shy and have an attack of nerves at every meeting.  it was even the
same when wolves lug as me and jono i would be nervous in case someone
else turned up ;-)


>
> Basically I'm wondering if you were designing a
> perfect lug meet what would it be like?

I don't know and it's something i have been trying to interest people
in for years.  i don't think there is a perfect formula but what works
for the existing group and doesn't alienate newcomers can be
considered good enough.  unfortunatly most groups satisfy existing
members needs well but forget that newcomers might have difficulties
conforming.

>
> To me the conversation and meeting people that have
> different experience and knowledge are the most
> important things (at the last Wolveslug meet I spent 2
> hours talking to someone about VMS clustering, a great
> evening :-)

aaahhh, I guess that was Woo, a great bloke.

those are the things i love.  I have learned so much during my time
involved with lugs about massively different things.  plus as the
typical aspie with lots of flitting special interests where else can
you talk to someone about designing a computer, a language, reverse
engineering a protocol or rewiring something old to be something new
;-)  It was the social side of the meetings that allowed me to expand
my technical knowledge

> and things like introductions where people
> say who they are, what they do, and what they're
> interested in are a good thing because they help get
> that started.

it's a great way of introducing yourself but is painful for people who
suffer of socal phobias.  Unfortunatly i am not sure how to improve it
and ditchig introductions is always met with scorn when i bring it up

> Talks are worthwhile if they give a
> common meme to start a conversation with someone
> you've never met, and keeping conversations roughly
> on-topic is important to maintaining an interest
> level. YMMV, tell us about it.

I normally don't get a lot from talks but agree that a common theme is
a good thing as long as it has depth that can be explored so that
attendies of all experience levels can get as much as possible out of
the evening.  i have enjoyed those on subjects such as firewalls in
the past.  It starts with what a firewall is, how it does what it does
and ends with a rundown on using a script to build rules or using
something like smoothwall.  afterwards everybody has something to say
at all different levels and some really interesting things come out of
it.  i quite fancy john pinners talk on python home automation at sb
lug next week and i can see that spawning lots of conversation if the
group doesn't splinter at the end of the talk as can happen.

>
>
> chris
>
> P.S. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm treating you
> all like "lab rats" but I do think there is a really
> worthwhile question here as to howto make the social
> side of Linux work for everybody.
>

it's cool chris, i sometimes feel like a lab rat or pet geek which is
why i get so pissed of about it sometimes but it's obviousl that you
are only interested in being more exclusive.


sparkes

PS, let's jump right into the deep end with the first thread why don't you