[Gllug] [OT] Jokes

[Jackson, Harry]

Paddy Englishman (PE) Paddy Scottishman (PS) and Paddy Irishman (PI) where
all in a bar as is normally the case and a tefal headed scientist strokes
into the joint looking for some help. Spotting the three edjits he walks up
and offers them 100 quid a piece if they help him with an experiment. They
all scratch there heads and eventually agree as 100 quid is a couple of
night on the piss and the logic of the decision was in no doubt.

Off they went to the lab and the Mad Scientist (MS) gave them each a spider
and told them that they where to find out as much as possible about the
spider in the next 24 hours as they possibly could.


24 HOURS LATER.


The MS walks up to PE and asks him what he knows. PE scratches his head and
says "This spider has eight legs." The MS asks him if that is it and PE
replies yes. The MS walks away muttering about thick english twats and goes
to PS.

The MS walks up to PS and asks him what he knows. PS scratches his head and
says "This spider is black." The MS asks him if that is it and PS replies
yes. The MS walks away muttering about thick scottish numpties and goes to
PI.

The MS walks up to PI and asks him what he knows. PI scratches his head and
gets a matchbox from his coat pocket. He opens the match box and lays it on
the table. PI then says "Come on out Bill" To the surprise of everyone there
Bill walks out of the matchbox and stands there.

Ok Bill says PI walk forward and Bill dutifully walks forward 
Ok Bill says PI walk backward and Bill dutifully walks backward
Ok Bill says PI walk left and Bill dutifully walks left 
Ok Bill says PI jump and Bill jumps
Ok Bill says PI rollover and Bill Rolls over

Meanwhile the MS is busy scrabbling away at his Notepad amazed that someone
has learnt to train an insect like a dog. He can see himself in Time
magazine, Nobel prizes and all sorts are flitting around his suede.

Ok Bill says PI beg and Bill gets up on his hind legs.

The MS waits a minute and when PI says nothing more he asks PI if he has
learnt anything more to which PI replies OH yes indeed now watch this. PI
picks up the spider and pulls all its legs out and then sets it on the table
and says.


Ok Bill says PI walk forward, nothing
Ok Bill says PI walk backward, nothing
Ok Bill says PI walk left, nothing
Ok Bill says PI jump, nothing
Ok Bill says PI rollover, nothing 
Ok Bill says PI beg, nothing 

The scientist is staring at PI wondering what this proves and asks PI what
he has found out from that. PI turns to MS and says I have found that if you
pull a spiders legs out











































It goes deaf.
 





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