[Wolves] Talking of silly Friday

[Andrew Lewis]

This is one of the most strange conversations I've ever had. It happened 
about 7 years ago, in the basement of Beatties in Wolverhampton - with 
possibly the stupidest girl I've ever met in my life. I often wondered 
if she managed to make it home that night, or even as far as the bus 
stop outside.

Me:    Hello, I'm here to collect a part for a "Kenwood Major" mixer, 
it's in the name Lewis.
Girl:   What name was it? Kenwood?
Me:    No, it's Lewis - The mixer is a Kenwood Major.
Girl:   Oh, I'll just check.......
.....time passes.......

Girl:   I'm sorry, I don't have anything in the name of Major Lewis or 
Major Kenwood.
Me:    Sorry, I'm not a Major, the part I've ordered is for a Kenwood Major.
Girl:   ah...... are you his batsman, then?
Me:    No. My name is Lewis, I'm here to get a part for a food mixer. 
The food mixer is made by Kenwood. The Model is the Kenwood Major.
Girl:   Oh, we don't stock those, you'll have to get a special order for it.
Me:    I have. I'm here to collect it - Someone telephoned me this 
morning to tell me that it had arrived, and now I'm here to collect it.
Girl:   Oh, you have to talk to the lady behind the counter. She deals 
with all the special orders.
Me:    ....................................ok. Thanks.

Spline
"I like to stand in town holding a clipboard and asking people if 
they've been involved in an accident in the last 12 months. When they 
say no, I look surprised and say 'Really? So.... why are you like that?'"