[sclug] OT: Social question

ed ed at s5h.net
Sun May 31 19:58:34 UTC 2009

Hash: SHA1

On Sun, May 31, 2009 at 08:04:12PM +0100, Neil Brown wrote:
> I've had absolutely no problem making female friends - most of my
> friends are female, I'd guess - but, finding someone I wanted as a
> girlfriend was much harder. However, since Newbury is a small place, and
> I wanted to avoid going down the line of a relationship with anyone in
> the same company, my options were limited... I make a lot of friends
> online, and often meet up with people who I first met online (SCLUG
> being an example), and, for me, it's this combination which has worked
> best- a chance to really chat to people and find out about them, prior
> to meeting them.

You're very right, Newbury is a small place. With only three or four
clubs I keep bumping into exes. One night this month I counted three in
one club :( The first two are not a problem, but for me with the third,
I still have some very deep emotions for. Sadly though, I can't stand
seeing her with her new boy friend.

So, I think the geographically distant thing does have some advantages -
if you are prone to getting emotionally attached perhaps. Perhaps if I
wasn't so needy then this wouldn't be such a problem for me.

Do you frequent the clubs at all Neil? There is sweet FA to do here.

> As it happened, I met up with a girl, having chatted and got on well
> online, and we came away from the date each thinking "Phew-  I won't
> have to see her again" - online / at-a-distance impressions can be wrong.
> Or, perhaps not, since, having continued to chat to each other online
> afterwards, we realised that we really did get on with each other, and
> that the first date had just not worked out... We met up again,
> immediately clicked that time, and we're still together, and very
> happily so.

This is quite interesting. I've had a lot of first and second dates that
then fizzle into nothing, perhaps I should get some emails/texts going a
bit more. It's that 'getting to know you' part that normally draws an
epic fail.

> Local is better, though - the previous attempt (met through a Linux
> forum!) was in the US, and the first meeting was in Canada. That was
> less successful, although, I did have a great few days in Toronto, even
> if it was seeing sights on my own during the more fraught patches. I did
> manage to fix all the issues on her netbook, though, so, not a complete
> failure!

To me local is within 5 miles - although I have started talking to a
Russian lass on the internet.

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