[Sussex] OS Airways!

[Macdonald-Wallace, Matthew J]

I'm sure this has been posted before, but I thought it was time it got
another airing! :o)

Cheers,

Matt


UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to
the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together
piece
by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are
supposed to
be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on
and
let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they
push
again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents
look
and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about
details,
you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't
want
to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever
having to
know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning
whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,
and
takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it
explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to
start
their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and
pave the
runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of
printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the
ticket
yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four
bolts, a
wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully
adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives
on time
without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You
try to
tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but
all they
can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Air Amiga
The most revolutionary air travel on the planet. Custom built air
planes with design features years ahead of their time. Even
though
faulty management plunged Air Amiga into bankruptcy from which
they
never recovered, many private airstrips still fly the original
planes.
Due to their truly universal design and open architecture, many
owners
have adapted their planes with more powerful engines and larger
fuel
tanks. Since the airframe was originally designed to be
light-weight,
these airliners can get you to your destination faster than any
other,
even with engines only a fraction in size. Pilots of these
(obsolete)
planes find all other (modern) air travel slow, inconvenient,
frustrating, and limited. There is no first-class seating, but
all coach
class seats are hand-made with quality.