[Sussex] Dear Tech support

[Gareth Ablett]

Dear Tech support

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included
with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself
into all other programs and now launches during system initialization,
where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker
Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no
longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep
Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite
applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
doesn't work on Wife 1.0 Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

_________________________


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall,
delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You
cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual
under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes, Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest
that you read the entire section regarding 'General Partnership Faults'!
(GPFs.) Your Wife 1.0 does a scan for GPFs during it's monthly program
maintenance scan (PMS). You must assume joint responsibility for any
faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also
find that GPFs are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the
command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YESDEAR because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway. Remember, the system will run smoothly as
long as you share the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program,
but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You
must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
should this happen.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Gareth Ablett
Systems Developer

ITP Services Ltd.
http://www.itpserve.co.uk/

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