[dundee] If Operating Systems Were Airlines.

azmodie azmodie at gmail.com
Fri Aug 3 17:20:01 BST 2007


*UNIX Airways *

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

*Air DOS *

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the
plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on
again, and so on...

*Mac Airlines *

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act
exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently
but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just
shut up.

*Windows Air *

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the
air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

*Windows NT Air *

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes
out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

*Windows XP Air *

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air
planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as
big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way.
Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat
insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and
replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you
as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not
take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment
promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and
over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal
or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the
toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what
destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in
Canada. *

Linux Air *

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own
airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a
copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem,
the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other
airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what
with the seat?"

-- 
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a
very narrow field.
  - Niels Bohr
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